Devastated

My best friend calls me tonight. His dad is in the hospital and his heart stopped. His blood pressure has been below 90 all day and his heart finally stopped. They got it going after 15 minutes, but they don't expect him to survive the night. Freddy tells me that he doesn't need me there that there is nothing i can do, but it's hard to sit here. I'm torn over my wanting to be there for my friend and my obligations to my job. I'm on the grad committee and I'm required to be there for rehearsal which is tomorrow at 5pm and graduation which is on Thursday. I want to be there for Freddy, but he tells me not to come. So I will do my work obligations and come up on Friday. I hate that I can't tell my work no. I think I can get out of rehearsal tomorrow and come up. I think I'll try that. I want to be there for my friend. His dad was only 56 years old.

It's been 4 years since I lost my last friend to a car accident on his way home from his Prom. 18, graduating, and looking forward to life. If he was around today, he'd be 22. I wonder sometimes how he would have matured. He was a fun kid.

My 2 most devastating losses happend in 1997 when Grandma passed and in 1999 when I lost my best female friend also to a car accident. I had to find out from a newspaper. I don't think I've ever cried so much over a person before when Georgia died. I talk about her a lot even today because I don't ever want to forget her. If it wasn't for her, I probably wouldn't be married to the great guy I am.

Our story is this, my first semester in Junior college I didn't know what i wanted to do or be. I was interested in computers. Georgia and I both took an introductory computer class. We said hello occasionally and that was about it. The next semester we ended up in another class together.. Object Oriented Programming boy was that class boring. We both hated it, but we stuck with it. She got me to go to a local club which I'd never been too. We became regulars there and I started meeting other people. Through her I met my short term boyfriend Jeremy. He only last 2 months. Through him I met Sierra and through Sierra I met Erik. It all stemmed from Georgia. I only had her in my life for about 1 and a half years, but that short time gave me a lifetime of memories. The saddest part for me after she died October 20, 1999 was I realized that I didn't have any pictures of the fun times we shared. I did end up scanning pictures of her from her senior year book. One of my closest friends now went to school with her. For a few years after that, I was a picture fiend. I need to get back into taking more pictures. I don't want any regrets over remembering someone just from my memories. I like a visual record as well.

You're in my thoughts and Prayers Fred Marcus. You will be missed!