Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

My Mother-in-Law sent this in an email and I thought it was funny. Enjoy!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! Thechicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized theneed to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens onthe other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken tocross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure-- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets thechance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn'tabout me, although I clearly remember having to dodge enemy fire asChelsea and I tried to cross the road.

DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that hemust first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before itgoes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we needto do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is whyhe wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chickenlearn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'mgoing to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across theroad and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just wantto know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chickenis either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see thesatellite image of the chicken crossing the road.....

JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now againstit! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about thechicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it inhis eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had astanding order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the pricedropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insiderinformation.

DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, thechicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

RUSH LIMBAUGH:Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?'That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, thatchicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination thatthe liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It'sas plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebodytold us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that intewesting? In a few moments, we will be wistening to thechicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how itexperienced a sewious case of molting, and went on to accompwish itswife wong dweam of cwossing the woad.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roadstogether, in peace.

BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads,but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance yourcheck book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken.This new platform is much more stable and will never crash & reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath thechicken

BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition ofchicken?

AL GORE:I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

REVEREND JEREMIAH WRIGHT:damn that chicken. Does that make me unpatriotic?